I am sure that you have heard at least a friend or two ranting about being played by her man. As you give her a pat on the back with the assurance that everything will turn out fine in the end, brings you to the perennial question, “Why do women get played by men?” And it is not only limited to those in a long-term relationship. More so, women get played by men they met on a personals site. This prompts the writer therefore to come up with three possible reasons why this is so.
Women let their emotions take over easily
Using the phrase “I immediately felt the chemistry between us” loosely by women referring to someone (or everyone) they just met on an online dating site (and this is after a few hours following the initial conversation) is one of the danger signs that she is letting her heart take hold of the situation, and not her head. This is not to say that women who get played by men are stupid, because even smart women get played all the time. Women get played by men who they just met online not because the guy is smarter, but because of something he might have said during the conversation (a coincidence or a common interest) that stirred up something inside you, with a fervent hope that it is possible that he might be The One.
But this should not be the case. It is too early to conclude that you will hit it off with that guy who you just met, especially online, which is solely based on a few hours’ worth of conversation. If you let this guy know what you think (and chances are he already does), it is like you gave him the key to get played. And you know very well how this will end.
Because women allow themselves to get played
I know that it is not good to hear some constructive criticism once in a while, but sadly, this is the case why women get played by men most of the time. And for what reason? They claim that it is because of a four-letter word that majority of the male population cannot even get themselves to say. And no, I do not mean that other four-letter word. I meant L-O-V-E.
A woman blindly lets her man’s shortcomings pass because of love, even to a point that it becomes a routine for the many times that the same thing happens and she still lets it slide. She will probably try to justify this action (when you point this out to her) by saying that she has worked so hard in making the relationship work, from the time that she found him on the dating site to present, that it would be foolish to let it waste and leave. But in reality, it is not because of love that you are allowing yourself to get played. It might be because you have been comfortable with the setup because of the many times it has happened that it already grew on you, or you might be feeling scared, that if you leave and be on the market again, it may be hard for you to find another. But if you will allow yourself to get played, you might lose your self-respect in the long run. As they say, love yourself first. Run while you still have the guts to.
Because you fail to see the danger signs
Again, this brings us back to my premise that this happens because of love. Or maybe because women are too emotional. Or maybe both. Whatever the case may be, failing to see the danger signs that you are being played is equivalent to a doomed relationship. Sure he may be saying all those sweet nothings during the first few hours of meeting him on the dating website, making your heart flutter and your pulse race. But consistency is the name of the game. If this person is super involved in your e-relationship (initiating the online messaging, calling you over the phone, asking you out on a date) one moment to zero participation (being offline [or invisible] whenever you want to initiate a chat conversation, ditching your phone calls, being busy with work) the next, you are being played. If after a few months he still has not put an exact label to your relationship, you are being played. If his words online is not consistent with his actions, you are being played. If any of these is present in a current relationship, get out of it fast.
It is always bad to get played. But do not give him the opportunity to do it. It is never too late to get out of a relationship that is based on playing. Think and love yourself first. Everything good will follow from there.