You are in a serious relationship and earnestly considering taking things to the next step. However, the only thing that bothers you is her constant dropping of her ex’s name in just about every conversation you have. You are now asking yourself, “Am I about to make the worst decision of my life if I marry this girl who still thinks of her ex?”
There are a lot of reasons why people are still hung up on their exes. Whatever the reason is, it sure hurts your male ego to hear your girlfriend’s ex’s name being mentioned, even if it is not warranted. No man is interested in, or likes his girl to talk about her ex, or all men in general. Coming from another planet, women seem to do the opposite, bringing up the subject of her ex, even on the first date. Even though you are secured about your relationship, hearing your girlfriend say her ex’s name seems to create an invisible barrier between the two of you, as if you are still competing with him for her love. You then start to question the quality of your relationship; you get jealous for no reason, until such time that you find your relationship in shambles, which is obviously not a good thing. Eager to save your relationship, you now want to know how to go about it if your girlfriend is constantly talking about her ex. Here may be some useful tips on what to do if this happens:
One word: Trust
You are in a romantic relationship not just because you love each other, but also because you trust each other to do the right thing for the relationship. Trust is an integral part of every relationship, and if this is not present, you might as well kiss the relationship goodbye.
If you trust your girlfriend enough, no matter how irritated you become every time the subject of her ex comes up, try to hold your frustration and anger and channel it to something positive. Your girlfriend might mention her ex a hundred times, but it would never change the fact that he is who he is now: an ex, a has been, a thing of the past. Instead of being annoyed, be smug and feel sorry for the guy. He is but a name, while you on the other hand are a reality. He will never come back, and make sure that it will stay that way for as long as you are around.
Play the good boyfriend and listen (for a while)
But if you find her constantly talking about her ex with twinkling eyes and a faraway look (among other danger signs), it may be that she is still into him and would probably want to get back together. If this is the case, do not wait for long and do the best thing.
Know when to leave
If nothing seems to work out for you, try the honest approach and tell her how you feel. Let her know that you are not comfortable hearing her ex’s name every chance she gets, and that she needs to stop. Confront her once and for all and straightforwardly ask if she still has a thing for her ex. If you ask her in an upfront manner, expect one of two things: either she will stop and refrain from doing it again because she respects your feelings, or she will react violently about it. If she does the latter, then take it as your cue to leave. Because it is as clear as day that she still has feelings for her ex, and that you should not waste your time being in a one-sided relationship.
The most important thing in this regard is to handle this situation as maturely and as calmly as possible. Do not let your alpha male instinct rule you, or else you might do something you might regret. Remember that you do not need to size up to him because you are the current boyfriend and he is just the ex.