Have you ever had a moment where you have met someone online and fall in love with him or her? The time you spent chatting with him or her online made to close the distance between you. The best of it is when you learn that she or he is single, and is a person who has those characters which you always admire, you can do anything to make him or her your boyfriend or a girlfriend. That is until you learn something that you did not want to hear….. She or he was your close friend’s ex.
Unfortunately, it is not easy to ignore him or her because the connection which you have is very strong, and you all know that the strong pull of the heart cannot be easily ignored. I have decided to write about dating your best friend’s ex because currently I am watching one of my brother dating his close friend’s ex. Here are the questions which I asked him in order to figure out if he can leave that girl or if he can go on and tell his friend about the decision which he want to make of dating his ex.
Know if there is a bro-code between your friends
Normally guys live by a code which no woman can understand. And it doesn’t matter how many brothers a woman has grown up with or the number of degrees in psychology which she has, only another man can understand well the male psyche. Women can only make a guess, assumptions or even hope that they are right.
When it comes to ex-fiancés, ex-wives or ex-girlfriends it looks a little bit tricky and all men seem to come to an agreement that no one should date their friend’s ex unless he has done his due diligence first. Therefore, if you are thinking of dating your close friend’s ex, then you better understand the verse and chapter of your ‘Bro Code rules before you take the step.
How serious was their past relationship?
If you are interested in a woman who was once your friend’s sweetheart, long term wife or fiancé, then you need your friend’s blessing before you go to the next level. This is right; the woman should not think that you think about her before your friend’s approval.
This type of conversation should not be via the text or the phone; you need to see your pal’s reaction. Some men are in touch with their feelings of anger and shock. Therefore, they will let you know right away if they are happy with your request. Some are detached from their feelings, so they can say that they have no problem with your request and later to display a bad attribute. Other guys may be genuinely okay with your request because they are happy with their current relationship &they do not have the intention of going back to their ex.
However, no matter the response you get from your friend it is good to stay for at least for two weeks before contacting the woman. Why for two weeks? Because it is important to make sure that your friendship survived. Some men start speculating about your previous contact with their ex and they may think that you do not have relationship boundaries.
Is she the woman you want to settle with or a woman you want to sleep with?
The decision of wanting to settle down with one woman is different with wanting to have an experience with a woman in the bed for a while. Listen to this, if you want to spend a few seasons with your ex-wife or fiancé and you are sure that she is not that woman who you can spend the rest of your life with, then you should leave the woman and save your male-friendships.
If the woman seems to be getting well with every guy in your group, there is nothing that you would like to change about her, just admire her personality and the thought of having a long term relationship should not scare you at all. Then, you can talk to your friend and ask him if he is over with such a wonderful woman. Remember, if he looks at you like he want to wrestle you, know that he is not over with the breakup.
After reading these important points, then you can be able to make your decision if you are a wise man. However, do not expect your friends to come all over you after they learn this news. If they are good friends, they will make the woman comfortable with the new dating arrangements.