First dates can be very complicated. It is like treading on unfamiliar waters where every step takes you closer to being drowned. Much as it puts a lot of pressure on you, first dates are supposed to be all about having fun and just allowing yourself to get to know the other person better.
But there are really those moments when everything seems to go from bad to worse. As much as you want to impress this guy, your nervousness (among everything else) takes the best of you, leaving the date much to be desired.
If you like this guy and he is worth having a second date with, avoid these three sure-fire dating deal breakers at all cost:
Be an open book
Avoid confiding your life story to your date in one go. A secret to a successful first date is that you leave an air of mystery that will make him want to see you more. Learn to disclose just a few carefully-thought of details about you and make him excited to find out the rest on your next date. If you want just that one date with him, then revealing everything on your first date will certainly do the trick.
Always keep the conversation carefree and spontaneous. Remember: your first date should never be focused on your story alone. Allow your date to open up things about him as well. Take the time to listen, and ask questions as necessary. This is how a typical first date should appear like: both of you are engaged in learning things about each other, leaving some things for next time.
Ask too many questions
A first date is all about getting to know each other better. A good conversation is always a key to a fruitful first date. It is allowed to ask questions that are part of the conversation. However, if you ask a lot of questions (similar to that of a questionnaire) like your date is under litigation, then you can kiss those chances of a second date goodbye. Guys do not like it when they are being interrogated. They will run like startled fawns if you do this.
Allow pauses after every question. Give him time to collect his thoughts and to give you his answer. Wait as he might have some questions of his own to ask. If possible, ask open-ended questions to get him to open up more and as a result make you know him better. Questions that are answerable by a mere yes or no will create more awkward pauses as you rack up your brains for more questions to ask (until you run out of them).
Do not sound like you are asking him from a prepared list of questions that you have made the night before. Worse, do not actually make a prepared list of questions to ask him during your date. Once your nervousness strikes, you will certainly forget the list, and since you cannot think of any to ask, you may appear to be dumbfounded, and this is never a sexy or appealing thing to the other party. Instead, make the conversation as free flowing as possible and allow follow up questions to be asked as you go along the discussion.
“I am so over my ex.”
Dating someone new may be a part of your “I am moving on from my good-for-nothing ex” plan, but not to a point where you try so hard convincing people that you have already moved on (but your actions really speak otherwise). You do not owe your date a lengthy explanation of why you are dating him instead (“I needed some time away from him, therefore we agreed to see other people.”). The odds are two to one – your date could not care less. Also, bad mouthing about your ex to other people is never a good move. It will give your date the impression that you might do the same thing to him behind his back therefore your plans to get over your ex by dating someone new will surely backfire. You do not need to tell people that you are over your ex. The fact that you are now dating someone new is enough proof of it.