As you commence settling into your new life as a divorced lady, you will begin mingling with several people and eventually you will begin dating. Most women find it challenging to decide what and how much to tell about their dates. It should always be remembered that there is a significant distinction between telling a new man about the divorce and telling him that you have just divorced.
While dating a new man, clarify at the beginning that you are divorced. It pays to be honest. While explaining your current status, you should try to bring it out in a manner that is not threatening. You may even have to ask her if she has been married before but be cautious enough to ask too much detail about his past relationship.
Never bring back painful memories
The initial few dates are meant for you to know each other and it is not a time to rehash your painful memories. Nothing will turn off a man than trying to explain your bad memories even before you know each other better. By just informing his that you are divorced, then you are one step ahead. It is important to mention that you are divorced so soon so that you can let him establish his feelings. On the other hand, don’t try to mislead him by mentioning things that could be a source of embarrassment for both of you. For instance, if you have children, never mention that you are single. Speak the truth. During your first dates, avoid dwelling much in your past lover. Men hate being compared with others and therefore, if you can avoid talking about your past, the better.
Tell him in perfect timing
There are various factors that will determine what you should tell your man about the divorce. With time, the two of you will get closer and natural discussions will begin to pop up about the previous relationship. This will be the ideal time to tell him about the divorce. You should, however, begin slowly because you should not scare the man away by exposing every detail of the divorce. You should give a calmer version of the divorce. Your story should not give a hint that you were a poor prey of your husband. You will definitely want to convince your new man that your past experience has taught you some lessons and that you are willing and able to take responsibility of any section that you contributed towards the breakup of your marriage. You should avoid mentioning things that show that you are blaming your lover. Don’t call him a liar.
As you tell him about your divorce, pay attention to the way he reacts. Is he sympathetic or critical? Does he seem to be protective? All those are some of the reactions that you should watch because you might be triggering a bad response and perceptions from him. The way he responds will act as an indicator to tell you if you should continue with your narrations.
If the reactions are negative, then it is evident that he is not impressed with what you are saying and perhaps it is a high time that you switch your conversations over to the man. Find out what made him dull. You may need to ask him why your story is making him behave negatively because you never know, he could be reacting to something that originates from his experiences. By talking it over, you will be able to resolve and sort things out. As you communicate with him, don’t mention things that appear as if you want to change him. Don’t try to nag him because if you do so, he will definitely dump you.
Generally, dating after a divorce will not work best for the faint hearted. It demands commitment. Honestly, it is interesting to find yourself single and looking for companionship in the middle or later years of life. As it turns out, it can be pretty difficult in the beginning but once you have found the man, things will ease if you adhere to the rules. Once everything has been sorted out, everything else will be fine. What a woman should know is that once she has explained the truth in her past relationship, her relations with the new man will be free from stumbling blocks since if anything comes across, the woman will have a defense since she will have exposed everything. How will he feel and behave if he realizes that you lied to him about the cause of your divorce?