Here is one scenario that for sure all of you have encountered at least once: being the proverbial fifth wheel. I can imagine heads nodding in assent (or heads shaking as you recall this miserable moment) as you read this. It is not sordid, being with your friends and their beaus in tow. However, it is not unusual to feel sorry for yourself to be in the presence of lovebirds while the closest thing to ever touch your lips in that instance is your beverage glass (of the alcoholic kind, preferably). You may find your thoughts racing with the speed of Michael Schumacher’s world record; with questions ranging from the expected “Am I too ugly?” to the doleful “Will I ever find The One?” You will then review each and every relationship you’ve had and try to see where it had gone wrong. As a conclusion, you will find yourself asking, “Are my bad habits keeping me single?”
It depends. A relationship is always a two-way street, and if it has gone sour, it would be unfair to put the blame on you alone. Still, you may be committing some relationship no-nos (albeit unintentional) which makes you a part of a couple one second and no more the next. But before you think of why you cannot seem to find a boyfriend, try to fix the problems in your love life. Here are the top 3 habits that may be keeping you single:
You are too emotional
Let’s face it: it is part of a woman’s genetic makeup to be emotional. However, men are not (or at least not that much). Women are into sappy romantic flicks, while men will pretend to share the same enthusiasm but in reality are bored out of their minds. A woman will talk for one straight hour just gushing about her favorite shoe brand while the man will just listen and cannot get a word in edgewise. Women like to send a million text messages to their men every chance they get, while men could not care less about their phones (but not if to check NBA scores or any new car being launched).
While it is true that men and women are from two different planets as far as interests go, a great relationship is one wherein both parties compromise. It is okay to be in touch with your emotions, but be mindful of what your partner may feel and try to put yourself in his shoes. Let him pick a movie of his choice on the schedule (it won’t hurt to watch Fast and the Furious [all 6 of them] for the nth time – especially since you will get to see Paul Walker and Vin Diesel on repeat). Finished talking? Take a breather and allow him to do the talking of his own. Your boyfriend does not reply? No problem: Put your phone on silent and find a distraction. Your boyfriend is neither a hobby nor an idol. Your world does not have to solely revolve around him.
You have an infallible idea about love and relationships
Go and blame the fairy tales for even thinking of this. As everyone knows, the reality is very much different from fantasy. You think that your boyfriend will solve all your problems in life, kind of like a knight in shining armor. You tend to depend so much on your boyfriend that you treat it like a second job. This puts him to a lot of pressure, making things worse and will let him run like a startled fawn. Again, your world does not have to revolve around him. A guy appreciates someone who needs him, but not so much if she clings to him. Men like to play the hero and save the damsel in distress once in a while, but they like it better to see you as one of Charlie’s Angels and play the role of the Independent Woman more often.
You feel desperate to settle down
This is especially true for those in their mid-life years, where they feel that every man they meet is their ticket to being a missus. It is not right to look at your boyfriend and imagine your wedding day, your future house, and your babies (give or take a family pet or two) all the time. While it is true that most men would like to find someone they can settle down with eventually, you should not let him know your ideas about marriage and building a family early on in the relationship, lest you want him scared away. Take your relationship one step at a time, and let nature take its own course.
You may be doing just one of the above or all three, but snapping out of these habits will eventually change the way you feel towards love and relationships, and who knows? You might be able to find The One without you expecting it.