Dating is a trial and error process. Bad dates are inevitable and are not unusual. You may find during your first date that she is not what you think her to be, that you come to a conclusion that she is not your type after all. You have a hard time believing that someone who sounds so appealing over the phone can turn out to be as bland as a skinless chicken in person. However, be glad that you are able to find this out on the first date and not later, saving both of you from further emotional investment and more wasted time.
But a date that turned out to be less than what you expected does not have to end on a sour note. No matter how bad the night turned out to be, you still need to maintain your gentleman nature and politely excuse yourself from your date. The following are helpful tips on how to courteously get out of a bad date.
Use the honest but tactful approach
Even if it is because you did not find the connection that you used to have back before the first date, you need to break it to her in order to save both your time. She will appreciate your honesty more than giving her False hopes that there will be a second date when in fact there is none. Being honest is not equivalent to being tactless, though. You need to carefully choose the words that you will use in breaking your date, so as not to hurt her feelings. You will be relieved to know that if you employ this kind of approach when excusing yourself from a first date, she will not take it against you as much, and might even thank you for your honesty. Ending the first date on a polite note is a good ending to a not-so good date, and a better alternative at that.
End the date early
Ending the date early will save both your time pretending that the date can be saved when you know very well that it cannot and channel it to more productive (and worthwhile) activities instead (maybe there’s a football game on TV that you want to catch). For all you know, while you pretend to be interested with your date, your boredom is very much obvious over your face, all for your date to see. You do not want to turn things around and let the woman end the date for you, do you? If you let this be the case, you will end up feeling embarrassed, bemused, defeated, making you feel worse than better.
Be more open-minded
Maybe there is a way to salvage the date after all. By using an open-minded perspective of things, you might discover a reason (or several reasons) why she is different in person than she was over the phone. Use this approach if you really like the girl and would want to see her again.
You might find out that the reason why she is not talking that much in person (but was a chatterbox over the phone) is because she really likes you, making her extremely nervous on the first date. Or maybe she is self-conscious that is why she is more bubbly over the phone and very shy once you meet personally. Or maybe this is her first time to date someone who she met online that is why she does not know how to go about it. Whatever her reason is, try to make a bad date downside up by doing these things:
Ask some open-ended questions to get her to talk more. This approach is particularly useful to shake off her nerves. Listen kindly and smile while she answers your question. Ask for the right things to be able to elicit a good (and lengthy) answer from her. Try to get some clues from the way she answers your question, check for her verbal and non-verbal cues to keep the conversation flowing.
Try to make some jokes to ease the situation. If this is her first time to date someone she met online, lay down all the cards for her. Explain that your date is just like any other date, regardless of how or where you met. Tell her about your expectations about this date. This information may help her understand the situation and lighten up.
Keep in mind that you can always survive a bad date. Alternatively, you can turn around a bad date into something worthwhile if you play your cards right. Just be positive and keep an honest, polite persona and everything will be alright.